probably the reason i'm single...

so i was flipping through channels last night, and landed on a Christian tv channel. i won’t say the speaker’s name cause i don’t wanna come off as too much of a jerk. but just know that he’s pretty popular in some parts of the Christian culture world. anyways, he starts talking about being grateful in all situations, which is probably a good point, but this guy just took it and ran. he says something along the lines of…

“so you married folks out there, you all just need to be so grateful for what you have. not everyone has someone to look out for them, someone to love. and even if you have a bad relationship, it’s ok. just ignore what’s wrong with it. ignore the bad, and focus on the good. it’ll eventually work itself out.”

then he said some other stuff that i don’t remember, but here comes the fun part…

“ladies, you may have a husband who is not treating you very well. that’s ok… just focus on the good. be grateful that you have someone. ladies, just be grateful that you have a man in your life to provide for you. and really all you need to do as a good wife is make sure the pantry is stocked with groceries.”

who knew it could be so simple?

Dr. King

This man is one of my most favorite people who ever lived. When I think of who he was and how he lived out his beliefs with his community, I hardly know what to do with myself. The man was amazing. He and the people who followed his lead did so much to demand that this country and its people actually live up to its ideals that it so proudly claimed. So in light of celebrating his birthday today, I will leave you with a few of my favorite quotes. I hope you find them as inspiring as I do.

"Never succumb to the temptation of bitterness."

"Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it."

"Shallow understanding from people of good will is more frustrating than absolute understanding from people of ill will."

"Wars are poor chisels for carving out peaceful tomorrows."

There are oh so many more great things that he has said and done. I urge you to read about him and be inspired.

perhaps...

this is something i wrote last night. i don't usually share my writing unless it's in prose form. but perhaps that will change...

empty

noises all day long
a broken vessel
torn apart piece by piece
i try to fix and mend

start over?
again?
i've tried that once before.
it isn't working anymore
and i'm just so tired.

silence in the darkness
an empty vessel
stripped bare to the core
i venture out to sea

start over?
again?
i've tried that once before
it isn't working anymore
and i'm just so tired.

it's the ebb and flow that kill me.
is there really calm after a storm?

so this is a new year.

before i say what i am about to say, i will ask that none of you take offense at what i say. these, my words, are merely a source of comfort for me. they are not meant to stab or point fingers. they are just my thoughts and feelings needing to be said aloud.

so a new year is upon us. i've spent the past few days thinking about the past year, as i'm sure most people do. generally in looking back on the past, i've tried to always have a mindset of not regretting anything. yes i make mistakes. we all do. and i just try to learn and grow from them. maybe i'm just overwhelmed by life lately, but for some reason i wish i could have a "do-over" for the past six months or so. i almost think that if i could relive the past six months, i would. there are many things that i would do the same, but there are also many things that i would like to do differently. i wonder how different things would be now. would they be any better? maybe it's the romantic in me, but i kinda think they would. i know it's foolish to think like this, but oh well. unfortunately i've been a little overwhelmed by this lately.

how is it possible to be so overwhelmed and full of anxiety or whatever and yet feel so empty?